


Roles to Play

by DrunkFujoshi



Category: Metal Gear
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Canon-Typical Violence, Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, M/M, major metal gear v spoilers, metal gear v spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 23:09:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4895851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrunkFujoshi/pseuds/DrunkFujoshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“ He knows that the best spies stick to their persona so well that even they believe it. Everyone has a role to play. What better way to play it then to completely believe it?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roles to Play

If Ocelot was to describe his upbringing, it would be versatile. The Philosophers teach him everything he will ever need to be the perfect spy. He learns everything from hand-to-hand combat to marksmen ship, to horse back ridding, he excels in all of them. They teach him every language starting at a young age. He learns French, but dislikes its history with his heritage. “The language of the nobles” He willfully mispronounces to his teachers. His knuckles are red from the marks of rulers and his mouth is bitter with the soap they make him eat. It’s his one bit of defiance he chooses to hold on to. The others languages and traits he’s taught, he continues to excel at. It’s at a young age they start training him for drug resistance. They teach him self-hypnosis. It will be important in his line of work. The self-hypnosis he studies fondly. He knows that the best spies stick to their persona so well that even they believe it. Everyone has a role to play. What better way to play it then to completely believe it?  
___________  
He is still a teenager when they assign him to spy on Colonel Volgin.  
The Colonel scares him, and that is a word he does not use easily. He’s seen what the Colonel does to his lovers. To anyone who catches his eye, usually young and blonde. He sees how often those selected by Volgin don’t have a choice in the matter. He worries he might not have a choice one day either. The Colonel always stands a little too close to him, hands lightly brushing against his wrist, his scarf. Volgin once pulls at his scarf a little bit while he’s talking to him, exposing Ocelot’s neck which Volgin’s eyes travel to. Ocelot feels dread in the pits of his stomach. Even standing next to Volgin makes him uncomfortable. The electric field makes Ocelot’s hair stand on end. Literally and figuratively.   
One day… something happens. It’s bad. Ocelot tells himself it could have been worse, he knows it could have been worse. He’s heard far worse has happened to others, and he should go about his business as usual. But he’s shaking as he returns to his quarters and once he’s there, he finds himself on his hands and knees vomiting until he’s dry-heaving and tasting the bile in his mouth. He breaks into a cold sweat realizing how pathetic he must look. He’s Major Ocelot, he has command of his own unit, he is the progeny of a famous war hero, he is fluent in 5 languages, a ricochet genius and he is shaking on the floor like a child. Ocelot wipes his mouth with the back of his hand and stands up, trying to regain his equilibrium. The thought of even being in the same room as Volgin again makes him almost vomit again, but he struggles to regain his composure. He can’t be afraid of Volgin, or he cannot do his job. He has a role to play and he cannot ignore that. He needs to forget this has ever happened. Literally.   
Rummaging through his medicine cabinet, he finds the small glass vials of drugs he’s been stealing from the on-site hospital. He’d saved them for if he ever needed to forget any critical information. Much harder to integrate a man when he does not know anything. Ocelot easily slips the needle under his skin, wincing slightly; he can already feel the tranquilizer taking effect, not enough to put him under, but to put him in a relaxed state. He finally has the courage to pull off his scarf, revealing dark bruises already forming around his neck. Ignoring them, he stares into the mirror, and starts to count backwards from ten.   
______________  
Years later he agrees to help form Zero’s new group on the condition that Snake joins as well. Ocelot is no longer that defiant child refusing to pronounce French, he is no longer that young boy forced to serve under Volgin, and go along with his whims (no, that never happened, it was a bad thought,) . He’s grown his blonde hair out, fitting with the current style of the new decade, his boots and scarf being the only remnants of his past time working for GRU. But Snake has stayed in his mind for six years and he’ll be damned if he goes without seeing him for another six. 

A few months later, and Ocelot and Snake are in Armenia at a Soviet base trying to track down info on where EVA has gone. They had grabbed the intel and were headed off when they’d been spotted by a 3rd patrol man. Ocelot mentally kicks himself for assuming that there would just be two guards on patrol. A rookie mistake to not do more thorough intel. The solider looks young and is shocked to see the two men, which might be why even at such a distance, he pulls up his shotgun and aims it at Snake. Ocelot proceeds to shove him to the side.   
The blast hits him, flying back into a wall. His torso feels like it’s on fire and he can barely hear anything besides a loud ringing. He hears a bang and sees the solider, from yards away go down, Snake’s standing over him, gun in hand. He feels two hands grab his shoulders, hears his deep voice, frantic and urgent. “Ocelot! Ocelot, look at me. Look at me, don’t fall asleep!”. Ocelot tries to say something, but all that escapes his lips is an undignified grunt of pain. He feels Snake pull off his scarf and press it to his wound. Ocelot hisses in pain and finds himself involuntarily thrashing. He feels those strong hands sternly hold him still. “I know.. I know” hears Snake say.   
Snake manages to help him up, forcing him to walk to their jeep they have hidden away. Each step is agony, the bumpy ride back to safety is even worse, but he forces himself to stay awake.   
For such a brutal man, John is impressively skilled at first aid. He does make shift first aid on the table of safe-house that’s been set up for them. “You’re lucky kid. If that guard had been any closer, or if he’d used anything other than a shotgun, your organs would be swiss cheese”.   
Ocelot grits his teeth. Snake had given him some pain-killers, but the years of drug resistance training keep him awake and in agony. “Stop it with the ki-“, but finds himself crying out in pain and trying his best not to thrash anymore as Snake learns over him, trying to remove the buckshot. He feels Snake squeeze his arm. “Hang in there Adam.” The touch forces Ocelot to regain what little composure he has in such a vulnerable state and he tries to focus more on his breathing and Snake continues to work, sweat running down his brow and knuckles white from gripping the sides of the table. Minutes feel like hours and the pain goes from agonizing to excruciating, with Snake’s occasional words of sympathy and reassurance the only thing making him able to endure.   
Snake finally manages to remove all the buckshot, but the next few days are a blur. Ocelot spends them sleeping on the couch in the safe-house. Drugged on the pain killers that have started to finally have an effect, and his own fever.   
He dreams of ghosts and the horses he road as a child. He wakes up from time to time to see Snake sitting next to him on the chair over, smoking, only half watching whatever was on the tv. But when he tries to talk to him, all that comes out is slews of Russian that make no sense.   
On the 3rd day, Snake looks up. “You’re babbling again-“, but sees the cartoon on the tv, and notices that Ocelot really was talking about a Moose and Squirrel.   
“Two of KGB’s finest…” Ocelot mutters. “Defeated by animals…”.   
“Yeah.” Snake says with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Animal names are just silly”.   
The dead-paned response sent Ocelot into what might have been a laugh, if the sharp pain in his side from his recent wound hadn’t stopped him.   
________________  
A few weeks later, Ocelot’s recovered and they’re back in the United States. Snake is leaving for Hanoi to recruit EVA into the Patriots and they met up again to talk some business in a small apartment set up for them on the west coast. Business turns into drinks and the two of them overlook the view of the sun setting on the balcony of the small apartment they’re currently held-up in, sharing a bottle of whiskey. “Took you more for a vodka person.” Snake comments as he passes the bottle back to him.   
Ocelot laughs and shakes his head. “After years in Russia, vodka barely affects me at this point.”  
“Like your drug resistance training?”  
“I acquired the resistance to vodka long before that”  
That gets a small smirk from Snake who changes the subject “How’s the wound?”  
“It’s fine. Dr.Clark said the same thing you did, blast was too far away, and didn’t hit anything vital.”   
“Shoving me aside and into the blast yourself”. Snake muttered, shaking his head. “Had me worried there kid.”  
Ocelot takes another swig of the whiskey and wipes his mouth on the back of his red gloves he still always wears. “Ok. Stop it with the kid thing. This isn’t Groznyj Grad! That was almost ten years ago. And even if it was, you’re only nine years older than me!”   
“You know that?” Snake asks taking the bottle of whiskey out of Ocelot’s hand that wasn’t wildly gesturing.   
“What your age? It’s not exactly classified information Snake! And even if it was, that’s not something hard for me to find out. I spent six years trying to track you down again, I know a lot about you. I know about-” He stops. The whiskey has made him say more than he wanted, and it’s almost made him say what he knows about The Boss. He originally was trying to learn more about her to learn more about Snake, and in the process had finally found the truth about his own parentage. He’s not sure if Snake knows or not. He doesn’t want it to come up. It feels odd. All his feelings about Snake feel odd at this point. They’ve gone past that idolizing hero worship he had when he was younger. He knows Snake now, works with him, they’re partners, out to recreate the dream of The Boss. But there are still moments where Snake makes him feel the way he did when he was twenty years old.   
“Know about what?” Snake inquires.  
Ocelot shrugs, “Your time in the Korean War”. Playfully, he takes the bottle of whiskey out of Snake’s hand even before he’s had a chance to drink and takes another swig. He’s always been good at covering up his own lies. 

___________

Snake takes him for the first time that night, it hurts more than he expects. Snake is a large man everywhere that counts and even after trying to loosen him up with his fingers and the petroleum jelly they found in the first aid kit, between bouts of their frantic kissing and undressing of one and other (except for his scarf, in the hurry, he’d left it on and Snake had no interest in taking it off), Ocelot finds himself gritting in pain as Snake pushes into him.  
“Shit Snake! Slower, that fucking hurts!”   
He feels a large, calloused hand on the small of his back, “Relax…”   
Ocelot tries to steady his breathing, feels Snake rubbing his back. He feels himself relax, and hears Snake’s words, almost soothing. “There you go.”  
He works his way into him, bit by bit, and slowly the pain starts to fade, Ocelot feels his cock stiffen even more and Snake, noticing that he’s no longer in discomfort, pushes him face down into the bed, and starts to thrust into him, harder and faster. He is rough and to the point. Precise. Grabbing Ocelot by the hips roughly and slamming into him, waves of intense pressure over come him and he finds himself losing all composure, words in Russian and English coming out of his mouth, until Snake grabs his hair and whispers sternly into his ear “Kid. You are Fucking. Loud.”  
Ocelot tries to tell him to stop calling him that, but all he can do is push his face into the bed to try to muffle his frantic moans. He comes with Snake’s name on his mouth, covered in sweat. Snake comes in him, with his teeth biting into Ocelot’s neck where he’s pulled down Ocelot’s scarf just a bit.   
Both of them are exhausted after the act and fall asleep together. It’s been six years since Ocelot wondered what it would be like to be fucked by him, but the romantic notion of them sharing a bed together after the act had never crossed his mind.   
__________________  
Snake leaves for good around the time EVA’s pregnancy is visibly noticeable, and for two years Ocelot can barely keep track of him. He finds his first grey hair the day he learns about the explosion in the Caribbean. Snake is in a coma and by the time he wakes up from it, Ocelot’s once blonde hair is now entirely grey. 

_________

It’s only been a few weeks since Boss (He’s Big Boss now, Ocelot reminds himself, Snake is from a time when they were both so young ) has come out of his coma. Ocelot rarely leaves Boss’s room, but needs to leave for a week to over-see some preparations on mother-base (he does not tell Miller about the news that Boss has come to, nor the plan with the other man that The Boss shares a room with.) Upon his return back to Cypress, he’s shocked to find Snake moving around his room unassisted. There’s some bad news, they know he’s awake. They talk about the plans. Ocelot is in the process of his own self-hypnosis and while he still knows the whole truth, things are starting to blur. Big Boss is in a coma he might never wake up from, and yet is talking to him right now like some weird Schrodinger’s cat.   
John, (he has been trying to think of him as John now thanks to the self-hypnosis, it’s how he’s keeping a grip on what’s real and what’s not,) looks at him “Adam. I’m counting on you”  
He learns forward and grabs Ocelot into a rough kiss, pulling on his hair. “You’ve grown it out some more.” He says between kisses and small bites along Ocelot’s neck. “It looks good. It will make it easier to pull on when I fuck you raw”   
Ocelot can feel John’s erection rubbing against him through his hospital gown he still has on, and the thought of how long it’s been since he’s felt it is driving him mad, but he finds himself weakly protesting anyway due to the sheer awkwardness of it at all “In the hospital John?… in your condition, you’re still-“  
“My condition.” John says, roughly pulling down Ocelot’s pants and shoving him over the small desk next to the vase of flowers “is fine”  
Ocelot gasps at such roughness from a man who was practically a vegetable a month ago, but he stops protesting. He’s waited nine years and sees no reason they need to wait any longer. He’s just as tight as he was all those years ago, and John is just as rough, just as forceful, and he finds himself trying to muffle his moans in fear of attracting the attention of the hospital staff. He’s spent nine years playing the role of John’s protector. Nine years securing a new mother base, doing intel in Afghanistan, getting John’s phantom ready, all for John, who’s bent him over that small desk and fucking him as if the past nine years has never happened.   
John makes good on his word to pull Ocelot’s hair roughly as he thrusts into him. “Shit. I forgot how good it feels fucking you.”   
Ocelot feels John reach around and grabs his erection, wet with his precum as he continues to mutter into his ear with that low rough voice of his. “You always did get so hard when I fucked you. You ever get this hard for anyone else?”  
John starts to pull on his erection, and that’s enough to make Ocelot loose what little composure he has. The man he has created in the past nine years is gone, that man he’s created in the past twenty years is gone, and he’s just that twenty year old kid again, so madly in love with the legend of the Big Boss. “It’s only ever been you John” he says, forgetting his resolve to be quiet. “Only you John! Only you!” He comes with John’s hand still on his erection.  
_______________   
A month later and he sees John off on his bike and rescues Venom on horseback. They head off the whaling ship towards Afghanistan. He gives Venom some medicine to help him sleep, or that’s what he says. In reality, it’s to buy him some time to finish his own self-hypnosis.   
Ocelot injects the needle into his own arm and focuses. He loosely pulls off his scarf, bite makes from his final intimate encounter with John the other week prior finally starting to fade, just like his memories of him were about to. Ocelot wonders for a while about taking steps to make sure he does not have the same feelings for Venom. Zero’s plan has worked better than Ocelot would like to give him credit for, the man is so much like John. He sees it, the way Venom asks about their past together, how they met, their time working together and Ocelot knows soon he’ll start to remember the rest of their experiences too…  
Ocelot tightens his resolve. He needs to be 100% committed, any doubt will cancel out the double-think. He can’t have that, he can’t risk that. It would jeopardize John’s mission. He can’t do that to him. Not after all he’s done. He must be 100% devoted. He has a role he has to play.  
____________   
Venom comes to Ocelot’s quarters one night on Mother Base, the same evening he has rescued Kaz. “Most of the memories are back now...” He says between kisses on Ocelot’s neck as he unbuttons his shirt, leaving his scarf on (John always did like him to wear nothing but that scarf) “I remember how good you felt the first time we fucked.”  
Venom takes him. He’s rough and precise. Just as much as he was the first time. For a second something seems off, but no, it’s been nine years since he last felt Venom in him, and he can’t even muster up the coyness to try to protest. Venom wraps his hand around his erection. “You always did get so hard when I fucked you. You ever get this hard for anyone else?”   
“It’s only ever been you John!” Ocelot comes with his Venom’s hand still on his erection. “Only you John! Only you!”


End file.
